Quality of Life

I have had the opportunity the past two weeks to spend my time in Barbados on a project for my job. What a great experience. The last time I was there, I stayed two weeks in a hotel, and really was ready to come home because I don't like always being on the road and having to eat in restaurants. There isn't a lot of "relaxation" to living that way. This time, however, we had secured an apartment and so life was a bit different. We have a training project beginning there and it is going to be an awesome one.

The country, as you can imagine, is gorgeous. With daily views of the sea and the cool breeze off the water, it creates a sense of peace and well being that is hard to find elsewhere. The people absolutely amaze me and have captured my heart. This trip there were no hotel stays, but a chance to really be able to spend some time getting to know the people.

After the first week there, I found myself on a Saturday night, totally relaxed, looking at the clock and realizing it was 9:00 and, other than checking my email once or twice, I really hadn't spent the entire day working. Those who know me know what a change that is. And I was totally at peace with that. I have to say this past two weeks I worked hard, accomplished a LOT, and relaxed more than I have in ages. And I found myself wondering how those three things could actually happen all at the same time.

More than once I heard "you Americans are always on the go," and isn't that so very true of our culture? We have a mindset that says if you want to be successful it requires you to work nonstop, to always be at the top of your game, and to never stop "doing." How many times do you hear "yes, I work too much, but it's what has to be done to get the job done," or "it's just how things have to be to move up in life and in my profession." And then we find ourselves realizing that life has passed us by, we haven't stopped to create and nurture those relationships that are truly important to us, and you know what? We are exhausted!

Not too long ago, at a manager's retreat, we had a consultant who spoke about focusing on doing impactful things. He talked about how 40% of what we do isn't relevant. Now, I can hear you all saying "He hasn't seen MY to do list!" And that was my first reaction to that as well. Until lately....

I found myself the last two weeks up with the sun. That's different because I have not generally been a morning person at all. I tend to be a night owl. And yet, by 5:30 or 6 every day, I was up, awake, and energized for the day. And by the way, that was without an alarm clock as my apartment doesn't have one and I couldn't find a place to buy one just yet! I have begun to keep a "gratitude journal" and in it I daily record things about the day, including those things I am thankful for that day. It has become my morning routine and changed how I view my days.

Bajans have a keen sense of family. I loved seeing that. If you are out and about early in the morning on the island, you may see people out for their morning walks, exercising on the beach, or even in the water for their morning routines. I see students who are juggling the importance of getting this new education for a better future with taking care of family and children because it's so important. And I realized that sometimes I haven't done so well at that. My niece is a great reminder for me that the children I wrote about in my last blog need their aunt and it's important to make that time.

I didn't see any expectation that one should "work 7 days a week," in fact, quite the opposite. I saw a commitment to working very hard when you work and then taking the time to refresh yourself at the end of your work week. And I found myself falling into that quite easily, because it was expected. I am so thankful that I was able to learn that from these folks, it is a lesson I really needed in my life.

I decided to learn to drive while there. Now, of course, I have always driven here at home, but never in a place where one drives on the "other" side of the road. It was an experience and I am happy to report I managed to do it with no major goofs of getting out in the wrong lane! During the last week I was there, I was on the way to the school and came around a curve as I drove down the highway. In front of me was a spectacular view of the sea, the trees, and the sun shining off the water. It was simply breathtaking. All I could think of was how blessed I was to be there and have the opportunity.

On my last day there, I was speaking to someone and sharing that I felt I had worked hard, accomplished much, and yet relaxed more than I have in ages and while that doesn't seem to go together, it simply was. Her answer was such an easy one--"that's called balance." Wow, that elusive balance. That thing that I have chased for five years, trying to figure out how to get there, wondering what it would truly be like to be at peace with one's self, and there it was.

Yes, this venture will make a difference in people's lives, and I can be a part of it. It will provide them with a future that they can't even see in their dreams yet. And yet, the lessons THEY are teaching me is also making a huge difference in my life. Quality of life, we talk about it, we wonder how to get there, and in a small island across the sea, I learned it's simple to find when you have the right focus. For that, I am grateful.